Check in and give us your status.
Are Patrick and Darla correct that no one is posting because we are all out gaily prancing through fields of wildflowers in complete joy and peace of mind (metaphorically, of course, cause wildflowers are protected, y'know)?
Or is that black dog sitting on your chest and preventing you from reaching the computer?
Or is it just too damned hot?
Are Patrick and Darla correct that no one is posting because we are all out gaily prancing through fields of wildflowers in complete joy and peace of mind (metaphorically, of course, cause wildflowers are protected, y'know)?
Or is that black dog sitting on your chest and preventing you from reaching the computer?
Or is it just too damned hot?
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SF Bay Area
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Thu, May 15, 2008 - 10:59 AMMe, I've had trouble getting out of bed this week. I've forced myself to do a lot of the things I normally just do. I've had to resort to dark chocolate every day this week just to be reasonably social. -
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Thu, May 15, 2008 - 5:03 PMHey bundt, I'm going to P.M. you on a dark chocolate theme. I keep meaning to. -
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Thu, May 15, 2008 - 5:20 PM> Hey bundt, I'm going to P.M. you on a dark chocolate theme. I keep meaning to.
I beat you to it. I figure it's easier to remember if it's in your mailbox.
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Thu, May 15, 2008 - 11:13 AMI've just been so freaking busy. But at least the semester is coming to an end and I'm not taking any Summer classes - yaya!
Working a day job is not my cup of tea. It seems like Monday - Friday I have no time on either end of my shift. Of course, I have to cook for my husband more now, so it's like I go home, cook, eat, iron something to wear the next day, go to bed.
These coming weeks at work are going to be a mini-Hel for me. I've trained people to do my job at the casino - but it's been one-on-one training and I could literally do my job in my sleep. Now at my new job they're putting me up in front of groups of people to train them how to do their jobs (which I know nothing about, mind you) on the new computer system.
Hide me! -
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Thu, May 15, 2008 - 4:46 PMIt's too flipping hot. And I've got a toothache. But I see the dentist on Friday. Now it just has to get cooler and I'll be semi-happy.
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Thu, May 15, 2008 - 4:48 PMI was having fun in the limited way I can these days. Really haven't felt depressed but noticed over the last week things in my mind going downhill (not seeping as well, disinterested in things I enjoy). Woke up with a sorethroat the last 3 mornings and yesterday when I cleaned my foot ulcer it emitted a milky discharge. This is not good. Saw a doc today who took xrays and put me on a more potent anti-biotic and tomorrow I'll see my podiatrist Dr. Lew. Dr. Lew is truly a patient's advocate and should be awarded a purple heart for bravery under fire.
It's always possible I may lose my foot, even my leg. I hope not. I want to heal. But regardless of the outcome I want to remain upbeat and available to others. Life is never meaningless if I keep in a frame of mind of wanting to do for others. -
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Thu, May 15, 2008 - 5:06 PMAlong with that, beloved one, remember to keep in a frame of mind of wanting to do for yourself, as well. YOU deserve your kindness, too! -
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Thu, May 15, 2008 - 5:16 PMPersonally, I feel like somebody cracked me open and fried me on the sidewalk. Oh, wait--maybe they did!
It's been hovering around 100 degrees here. What's up with that? Waiter, this isn't what I ordered! -
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Thu, May 15, 2008 - 6:12 PMSurvivor you're a good egg! -
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Fri, May 16, 2008 - 1:24 PM"Survivor you're a good egg!"
bah-dum-pum, chshhhhh.
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Thu, May 15, 2008 - 6:12 PMWe're just getting some sun today, after a few days of rain. Supposed to be nice this weekend, and I'm really looking forward to spinning poi on the beach with my boyfriend and best friend. It's been a few weeks since last time, and I'm getting antsy!
I haven't really been saying much, because I haven't been able to put things into words. -
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Thu, May 15, 2008 - 6:26 PMits been a rough week. not sleeping well and after almost 2 weeks of that i'm at my wits end. i resorted to taking a pill not long ago and hope i can get in 12 hours or so to make up for the hours missed.
ps. it is 100* in my house right now. day-am. -
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Thu, May 15, 2008 - 6:28 PM"we are all out gaily prancing through fields of wildflowers in complete joy "
now isn't that a sentence that brings an image to mind? if we are gaily prancing then maybe we can all get married while we're at it, since the supreme court says its okay in their book. -
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Fri, May 16, 2008 - 10:41 AM"we are all out gaily prancing through fields of wildflowers in complete joy "
> now isn't that a sentence that brings an image to mind?
The Sound of Music? Snoopy and Woodstock? Milo and Opus? -
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Fri, May 16, 2008 - 10:49 AMI found out this morning that our friend, the man who stood up as my husband's best man, passed away. He was a lifelong diabetic and had been on dialysis the past few years. He was a man larger than life (and he was a big - and HELLA cute) guy who was one of the very best and nicest people I have ever in life met. His passing leaves a gaping hole. I haven't told my husband yet, b/c I figured I'd wait until I had a chance to talk to him in person (we didn't have much time this morning) and also I don't want to upset him at work. He loved this guy like a brother. He leaves a wife and two high-school aged children. His wife, who I don't particularly like, has lost both parents and now her husband in a very short time. Although I am not fond of her, I do feel for her.
I hate the heat. Hate, hate, hate. I am engineered for cooler climates.
I've been really struggling to stay out of the pit, and so far, I have managed, but I feel like I am hanging on my my fingernails... -
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Fri, May 16, 2008 - 11:18 AMOh, Darla. I'm so sorry for your loss and especially your husband's loss. Hang in there.
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Fri, May 16, 2008 - 12:34 PM(((Darla)))
You have my condolences and blessings. -
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Fri, May 16, 2008 - 12:40 PMThanks, all.
You would have LOVED Patrick. HUGE guy - easily 6'5", heart of gold, full of hell (in a good way) and always a joker.
A dear friend from PA came out to play the music at our wedding. She happens to be a lesbian, and my husband and she totally hit it off. They were going out right before the wedding to pick up dinner and Patrick called and I told them that they were out. Patrick, as born-again Christian as you can get (but not in a pukey way at all - and he did not know about my bud's orientation) said, "Wow - so you are not worried about that?"
(My husband had a huge reputation for being a lady's man.)
I said, "Not in this case."
Everyone straight, gay, whatever - had a crush on Patrick. What a lovely, lovely man he was. -
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Fri, May 16, 2008 - 1:30 PMDarla, thank you for sharing Patrick with us. I feel like I almost know him. -
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Fri, May 16, 2008 - 1:41 PM"Survivor you're a good egg!"
Is that b/c you are a little cracked? (Just like the rest of us?!)
Yeah, Patrick ROCKED. It's gonna hit my husband hard.
And you know what? It's FREAKIN" HOT. -
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Fri, May 16, 2008 - 5:40 PMSorry to hear about you and your husband's loss, Darla. Sounds like you'll keep a lot of great memories of Patrick, sounds like a fun guy.
And it is is friggin hot. Christ. -
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Fri, May 16, 2008 - 6:36 PM"Sounds like you'll keep a lot of great memories of Partick." You know, it's a strange thing: I've found that when true friends die, somehow they are more alive for me at first than they were before they were gone. It isn't a sad thing for me. Yes, it makes me more aware of what we all have lost in the loss of this person, but it also makes my memories of little things that we shared seem brighter, more real, at least for a little while.
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Sun, May 18, 2008 - 7:24 PM""we are all out gaily prancing through fields of wildflowers in complete joy "
> now isn't that a sentence that brings an image to mind?
The Sound of Music? Snoopy and Woodstock? Milo and Opus?"
Calvin and Hobbs tripping on acid at a dead show at - lets say ... Alpine Valley - listening to Dupree's Diamond Blues? (July 7 1984)
Altho I have to say if I'm going to pick a show from 84 it would have to be oct 12 in Augusta Maine. that was probably the best show I ever saw....besides maybe the Greek that same summer.
:)
(sorry for the digression)
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Thu, May 15, 2008 - 7:12 PM***ps. it is 100* in my house right now. day-am. **
Dayum! It hasn't even hit 100 here in Vegas yet!
We've actually been having gorgeous weather this past week. Of course, I'm in the basement of a building all day & now have to sleep all night, so I totally miss out :P -
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Fri, May 16, 2008 - 8:09 PM"***ps. it is 100* in my house right now. day-am. **
Dayum! It hasn't even hit 100 here in Vegas yet! "
its a little bit cooler today, its 8 pm and my house is only 89*. its either a bizarre heat wave or the wave of our globally warming future.
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Unsu...
Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Thu, May 15, 2008 - 8:03 PMI've been off-and-on sick, for some reason. I think my hormones are severely out of whack and can't pinpoint why. Up till the last two weeks, my migraine medication has done an excellent job of keeping me pain-free, but lately...not so much. In part I think it _is_ to do with the weather. Huge, rapid changes futz with my head, and the weather in my neck o' the woods has been all over the place! On top of that I've been having bad reactions to food lately.
Also, for the last couple months I've been attending day treatment and seeing my case manager daily, but we've mostly been sitting on our laurels waiting for paperwork to go through the postal system and for calls to be returned. That all changed Wednesday of last week: when I've not been at home feeling ill, I've been hop-skipping all over town between appointments. Right now I'm going through a lot of Voc Rehab stuff. -
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Fri, May 16, 2008 - 7:37 PMIt's definitely hot here in Pleasanton. And it's only May. Daaaamn!!! I have had some drama at work. Mostly just me complaining again to my supervisor and I bosses boss. Hopefully there won't be negative consequences. Either way, I'm just DONE with certain situations. If they can't see things from my perspective that's fine. Okay. Whatever. It just sucks when I see opportunity for increased productivity and efficiency and a propensity for power tripping and control and vindictiveness are somehow more important and take precedence over that. Fucking re-DICK-ulous!!!
I am happy my vacation got approved and I could swing $259 for a RT ticket to Palm Springs from June 27 - July 6. Nine days in the oasis of naked men. I can't wait. It will be nice to see my ex and some other friends too I suppose. : )
Hanging in there. Still smoking and drinking too much. Pretty much always feel like semi-shit. Trying to keep myself fed. Not for lack of funds. Just lack of appetite. And not necessarily a lack of appetite but because I'm basically replacing alot of meals with a snack and then just drinking instead of dinner. Half a can of Pringles at 10pm sometimes. And now that it's hot as hell I had to take Ambien to sleep the past three nights. I havent been taking it for a while. Now it's most def, Ambien in, windows open, fan on. Naked or in underwear. I used to love the heat. Now I prefer the cold as you can always put on more clothes but you can only get so naked. OY!!! -
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Fri, May 16, 2008 - 10:02 PMI am happy my vacation got approved and I could swing $259 for a RT ticket to Palm Springs from June 27 - July 6. Nine days in the oasis of naked men. I can't wait. It will be nice to see my ex and some other friends too I suppose. : )
Damn, take me with you! j/k :) Sounds like a good deal.
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Sat, May 17, 2008 - 6:50 AMi got my vacation(s) approved one fore 5/31 thru 6/2and the other for 7/31-8/1 both times going to oregon to see new grandson who is arriving today (being induced so my son can be there FOR SURE when he is born)
work isnt going to well. we are slowly running out of money and big customer isnt paying us, hasnt since december - they want to arrange paying 70cents on the dollar and at this pont, i think my boss is going to consider it... it will help us stay afloat a little longer
going to a huge party tonight for my bosses daughters husband - we get a long FAB and i think it will be a lot of fun. am gearing up emotionally to take it all in and not leave early. should be an evening full of drinking/partaking and flirting!!! YAY (now i have to figure out what i am going to wear!!!)
ok, have to head out to the gym and get my day started.
have a great weekend everyone! -
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Sat, May 17, 2008 - 8:42 AMDreamer just wear a toga and go barefoot. : ) -
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Sun, May 18, 2008 - 8:31 AMparty didnt go to well for me. my son did go with me, stayed for about 20 minutes and took off, leaving me with almost complete strangers... i was shunned, stared at and they really didnt want me there. its ok, i guess. people that i hadnt seen for almost a year, so i guess its to be expect, like they are saying, why the *UCK is SHE here?" so i called my son like 1/2 after i ate and got picked up. i felt like dirt on their shoes. not everyone treated me like this, but there were like 70 people there and maybe 4 people talked to me for 5 minutes. i am very sad and trying to let it go. tried to mend fences, but these people dont care about me anyway. guess i had to prove to myself that i do not want to be in that circle
so on to cleaning my house and getting ready for my granddaughter to come by.
later -
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Sun, May 18, 2008 - 11:05 AMDreamer,
Some people have NO IDEA what they are missing if they treated you that way. I'm lucky; I DO know what they were missing because you are terrific!!! (Moral of the story: hang out with the Depression tribe - we're normal - what does that say about "them"?!!!)
I have often felt this way when I am in certain company - especially at work in the old days (before my old boss got fired - wait let me say that again - the heifer got FIRED!) and was told some really crappy things like "nobody gets your sense of humor" which I know is bullshit, and that nobody liked me. Coming from the background I do, to hear that nobody liked me was particularly painful, as I was always the "fat kid" growing up that nobody liked (well, in a very small private school from K-5 - once I was outta there there was no stopping me and I never felt ostracized like that again, but it still scarred me deeply). When I am in these kinds of circumstances, I always think about putting pearls before swine, which is what you did. You, a beautiful shiney pearl (with that GORGEOUS HAIR) put yourself before a bunch of greedy, dirty pigs - is it any wonder they didn't/don't appreciate you?!
You are a pearl, sweet Dreamer. Remember the people who love you who have chosen to be close to you - they tell you that you are precious and valuable - work people are like family in a way: they are there because of circumstances and it's largely accidental that you are together. Don't look to them to be supportive, after all, they are but SWINE. -
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Sun, May 18, 2008 - 11:55 AMDarla? Your boss told you people don't like you? That is totally wrong. Sounds like an HR issue to me. Why did that beeotch get fired?
Dreamer I feel you too. I have been in many situations in the past were I feel like an outsider. That sucks.
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Sun, May 18, 2008 - 11:17 PMI've just had very limited access online the last almost 6 months. Have to use my brothers for now. Was a little sad none of my friends seem to have noticed, here or elsewhere....but I guess I don't say much when I am on. Too many trust issues?? I dunno. Had a job, quit when some moron was freaking me out with his rape fantasy of me. So I'm looking again but this time I'm sticking to my quest for something that won't spin me into depression again & again, this last one was reallybad. So that's it in a nutshell. The last few days have been especially bad for me though.
Darla I'm so sorry to hear about your friend too. I'll be thinking of you. I miss all of you & hope to be back full time in the near future. -
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Re: Check in: 5/12/08 - 5/18/08
Mon, May 19, 2008 - 6:07 AMHELEN!!!
How wonderful to hear from you! I hope that your access to the net is some better now. One can feel pretty isolated when one is without it. I know I feel pretty hamstrung.
How are you doing with your teeth? I am so sorry about the jerk you worked with. What a whacko. I am sorry that you had to go through THAT.
I am happy that you are back. You are ALWAYS welcome. ALWAYS.
Hugs,
D.
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