Wow,

thank you for posting this. It is an enlightening reflection of my own thoughts that I had not considered. I haven't been "feeling depressed" lately, but ideas and thoughts still linger. This tribe is good for understanding why they do sometimes.

The thought that no one can handle our sadness is (at least in my opinion & experience) a fallacy. I have to fight it HARD, and when I get depressed, I call someone right away & talk about it. This is an odd thing for a depressant to do (but healthy for me) as most choose to hide instead. My extreme gregarious nature & love for people helps me get past the idea that no one wants to hear me out and gives me the ability to ask for help. I am lucky that most often I am well received by my close peers.

Yet, I consistently fight the idea that my boyfriend would leave me because of my depression & mood swings. It always comes back to the idea that I am not lovable because of my moods, that I am not lovable because I cry for days... However, the idea is completely a self fulfilling prophecy. If we allow ourselves to believe this unquestionably, it will make us more depressed, making us make lousier decisions within our relationships, causing more difficulties relating, causing more depression... yatta yatta.

I think it is part of learned helplessness & explanatory styles. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lear...lplessness
as in, we blame ourselves for our failed relationships, instead of blaming circumstances or the other person's failings, simple incompatibility or many variations on why relationships fail. Relationships fail for EVERYONE and not just those of us who are depressed. Everyone else seems to blame the person that the relationship failed with, while us depressed people bear the responsibility ourselves.

I admire your courage to take on the responsibility of these relationships. It takes a strong individual to examine themselves in this way, and your will to accept responsibility shows strong virtue in your person.

Thank you for this.