http://depressiontribe.tribe.net/thread/291fd70e-b65f-484e-9356-dad226f68b87?format=rss Tribe.net. Local Connections http://DepressionTribe.tribe.net/thread/291fd70e-b65f-484e-9356-dad226f68b87#27584275-383a-42b6-a5e2-5d6dd97433a0 Yay, Anon! I'm so glad to hear you say that! Wed, 24 Jun 2009 04:20:48 GMT http://DepressionTribe.tribe.net/thread/291fd70e-b65f-484e-9356-dad226f68b87#27584275-383a-42b6-a5e2-5d6dd97433a0 Survivor 2009-06-24T04:20:48Z http://DepressionTribe.tribe.net/thread/291fd70e-b65f-484e-9356-dad226f68b87#7af82c30-c3af-4971-a1d6-22727bd37aed Thank you all! That really helped...and Dawn, you are right, that is black and white thinking! There are people I can and DO trust in my life...this one guy should not ruin that! Tue, 23 Jun 2009 15:19:40 GMT http://DepressionTribe.tribe.net/thread/291fd70e-b65f-484e-9356-dad226f68b87#7af82c30-c3af-4971-a1d6-22727bd37aed Rachel 2009-06-23T15:19:40Z http://DepressionTribe.tribe.net/thread/291fd70e-b65f-484e-9356-dad226f68b87#ee59089e-9466-4e07-91b4-585d442ef756 Wow, Dawn!! beautifully written, insightfully said! Tue, 23 Jun 2009 04:12:53 GMT http://DepressionTribe.tribe.net/thread/291fd70e-b65f-484e-9356-dad226f68b87#ee59089e-9466-4e07-91b4-585d442ef756 Leah 2009-06-23T04:12:53Z http://DepressionTribe.tribe.net/thread/291fd70e-b65f-484e-9356-dad226f68b87#cac3eab1-0981-4c28-8f07-2bb612d3542d Dawn, excellent post! Wow, were you ever able to say all that clearly! Thank you. Mon, 22 Jun 2009 21:13:36 GMT http://DepressionTribe.tribe.net/thread/291fd70e-b65f-484e-9356-dad226f68b87#cac3eab1-0981-4c28-8f07-2bb612d3542d Survivor 2009-06-22T21:13:36Z http://DepressionTribe.tribe.net/thread/291fd70e-b65f-484e-9356-dad226f68b87#993fc9bb-ef93-40a5-b405-22cdc700ec03 Deserving or not deserving really doesn't have much to do with anything in life. The question is always, what can I do about it. Some times I can answer that one, and sometimes I can't. Patrick Mon, 22 Jun 2009 20:25:56 GMT http://DepressionTribe.tribe.net/thread/291fd70e-b65f-484e-9356-dad226f68b87#993fc9bb-ef93-40a5-b405-22cdc700ec03 Patrick 2009-06-22T20:25:56Z http://DepressionTribe.tribe.net/thread/291fd70e-b65f-484e-9356-dad226f68b87#9ce1459e-63ce-4f79-94e9-a2d4c430c55d When I was in my depression group therapy, something they said really hit me. They told me that one thing you have to understand as someone with depression is that "Life isn't fair". The problem with believing life is fair is that if you believe it's fair, then all the terrible things that have happened in your life must have been deserved. Unfortunately, life isn't fair, however, this may be more fortunate for you to realize at this moment because no, you don't deserve it. NO ONE deserves to be lied to or insulted ('delusional' is an invalidation of all your thoughts and feelings - someone who you could trust wouldn't throw this around lightly.) This shows an immaturity on whomever you are dealing with to act like an adult in reaction to your behaviour. As far as trusting someone goes, it's not as black and white as "I can trust all people" or "I can trust no one"... there is middle ground in which you can trust a few people, and you need to find out how you measure whether someone is trust worthy. Sometimes our best efforts to discern this will fail, it doesn't mean that there is no one to trust, just that the one person is not trust worthy & were able to get through our best defenses. If you have decided this person is someone you can't trust, I would be extremely careful when speaking to them (in fact, I would almost choose to take a large amount of space if it was me, but that's your choice) as when depressed we are more vulnerable to attack.... and the world is not always friendly. You don't deserve it. He deserves the blame for lying. You deserve non of the blame for his lies, although I can understand feeling foolish for falling for it. We are all fools at times though. We give someone the gift of trust, and they take it for granted and lie to us. He has betrayed you in that instant and it is his responsibility, not yours. The only thing you can change here is whether or not you give this person who betrayed you more gifts of trust... I don't believe they deserve your trust. Mon, 22 Jun 2009 18:31:44 GMT http://DepressionTribe.tribe.net/thread/291fd70e-b65f-484e-9356-dad226f68b87#9ce1459e-63ce-4f79-94e9-a2d4c430c55d Dawn 2009-06-22T18:31:44Z http://DepressionTribe.tribe.net/thread/291fd70e-b65f-484e-9356-dad226f68b87#99ad8ca5-678a-44fd-b51d-894f438d4431 Especially over the past few years, I've been burned, and burned, and burned. I believe I developed a 'blind eye' or a less-than-useful optimisim about people who I trusted far more than I should have. My life got ALOT worse than it would have been had I not allowed these conning idiots into my life the way I did. I will probbably never trust as much again; so I've learned something. I also consider what I've been trhu in the past few years, and realize my brain was not in an optimal place, so I made poor choices, that I might not have made if I was'nt under such stress. I've learned something, but as has been said; "one monkey won't stop the show". I'll be more cautious and careful, but I'm still going to try and trust those who seem worthy, even if it's more difficult. There is a very real chance that the person who called YOU delusional was delusional THEMSELVES - they deluded themsleves into the lies that they told you, and are now trying to blame you for their own behavior. Maybe you made a bad choice; maybe you were lied to; maybe both. Try to learn and grow, and see when something is toxic for you and that it may be time to remove that toxin from your life. Some toxins are VERY addictive; and some your mind paints vivid fantasies about (read:lies). Stopping toxins is not always easy, but you'll be a better person in the long run for removing them from your life. I've removed bad people and bad habits, and some bad foods from my life. It was hell, and took many a month, and plenty of willpower, but I did it anyway. PS: You are'nt overposting; you're going thru a rough patch and you're exposing yourself to people who understand, for support. That's a very healthy thing to do. Don't be so down on yourself ! Mon, 22 Jun 2009 02:10:46 GMT http://DepressionTribe.tribe.net/thread/291fd70e-b65f-484e-9356-dad226f68b87#99ad8ca5-678a-44fd-b51d-894f438d4431 Ray 2009-06-22T02:10:46Z http://DepressionTribe.tribe.net/thread/291fd70e-b65f-484e-9356-dad226f68b87#57336661-9519-4f39-9e60-1861377ffdff every once in awhile I come across someone I can trust... and even love, who loves and trusts me back. And that makes all the many, many times I've been burned by people who really didn't mean what they said to me worth it. One monkey don't stop no show! Mon, 22 Jun 2009 01:31:01 GMT http://DepressionTribe.tribe.net/thread/291fd70e-b65f-484e-9356-dad226f68b87#57336661-9519-4f39-9e60-1861377ffdff Ron 2009-06-22T01:31:01Z http://DepressionTribe.tribe.net/thread/291fd70e-b65f-484e-9356-dad226f68b87#3f386901-3249-482c-9827-7def50470113 I'm sorry if my thinking seems disjointed or if I'm overposting or anything. I feel very depressed, up and down lately. I have been lied to and misled by someone, and I truly did believe in them. I am usually good at knowing when people lie but this was different, maybe he believed what he said at the time but was just so inconsistent. Deep down I wonder if I deserve this. He looks down on me for being "delusional", which really means believing what he told me. Apparently I was supposed to know better. Better than what, to trust someone? Why is that such a terrible personality trait? I do NOT want to live my life in cynicism, trusting no one. That is not a life worth living to me. But trusting has gotten me into this spot. Is that wrong, or is the world just kind of...wrong?? Sun, 21 Jun 2009 21:13:11 GMT http://DepressionTribe.tribe.net/thread/291fd70e-b65f-484e-9356-dad226f68b87#3f386901-3249-482c-9827-7def50470113 Rachel 2009-06-21T21:13:11Z